I got fired today..

wineI lost my job today. I’m celebrating (?) by having just a “small’ glass of wine before I wind down for the night.  Yep, those are tissues in the background…  Their placement is purely coincidental.  I haven’t shed a tear over my job loss today.

OK that’s a lie – I cried a little bit – kind of out of shock – but not because I’m upset.

Normally, announcing sudden unemployment from my job wouldn’t be something that I would openly discuss with the world on a blog.  I am one of those people who is really self conscious about stuff like this and being unemployed is usually a sign of weakness for me.  I don’t like not being in control – so when someone snatches something right out from under me without any warning, I tend to get really hostile and upset.  However, that wasn’t the case today.  I, along with about 20 – 30 of my fellow co-workers were let go suddenly and unexpectedly.  We have 2 months of work left and then are released with severance.

I’m OK with it.

I have a work ethic and I get my ass up every single morning and go to work.  I present myself every day ready to work and I do the best that I can do despite the circumstances.  I may not like what I do, but I’m dedicated to it!  🙂  I’ve been employed for nearly 11 years with the same company, 6 years in my most recent position.  I would have never quit on my own.  NEVER.  I’ve considered moving into doing something I enjoy in the field I am educated in for the last several years, but I hesitated and stuck with what I was doing out of a feeling of obligation to my lifestyle.  And I realize today that being forced to separate from my job is actually a blessing.  Had my employer not eliminated my position, I would have stayed forever.

I would have been unhappy forever.

You guys – I didn’t like my job.

I plan to not be unhappy with work anymore.  I will be a trooper.  I will serve my time, train my successor, take my severance, and find something to do that I love.

I don’t know what that is going to be yet, but this is an exciting time.  I may actually get out from under a cloud of a self inflicted feeling of obligation that didn’t allow me to be who I really am.

I am excited.

On a side note, I realized today that this is the first time I’ve gone through something this big/traumatic in the time of Social Media.  This is the first time I’ve gone through a large layoff and actually been able to commiserate with my fellow unemployed co-workers from the comfort of my own home.  It’s been a very surreal experience to continue to discuss the shock and awe many of us experienced today with others in my same position from the comfort of my own living room

I’m not a perpetual job loser, but I have been laid off before.  However, it’s been a very long time since that has happened – I think the last time was 2003.  This is an odd feeling for me, and I honestly didn’t expect to feel this good about it.